WWE Style Romeo & Juliet
by ZoeChaos
Summary: The tale of Romeo and Juliet has been told many times, in many ways. But with every telling of this well-known tale, the facts get a little twisted. The WWE Superstars take the liberty of performing the real tale of Romeo and Juliet, with a modern twist.
1. Roles

**Author's Note: Yay! We are back with another play! In case we do not know Angel and I wrote WWE Style La Boheme which is very funny. If you want to read it it's on Angel's account which is NellyLove. Okay here is just a list of wrestlers and what characters they are. In case you wanted to know. Enjoy!**

**-Zo**

**PS: Oh and in WWE Style La Boheme, Jeffismyhero is Angel and Evanismyhottie is me, just so you don't get confused or anything.**

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ROLES: Romeo & Juliet

_**Narrators/Chorus:**_**_ D-Generation X (Shawn Michaels & Triple H)_**

_**Romeo: John Morrison**_

_**Juliet: Melina**_

_**Friar Lawrence: Shane McMahon**_

_**Mercutio: Jeff Hardy**_

_**The Nurse: Mickie James**_

_**Tybalt: Randy**_

_**Capulet: William Regal**_

_**Lady Capulet: Layla**_

_**Montague: John Cena**_

_**Lady Montague: Maria**_

_**Paris: Jack Swagger**_

_**Benvolio: Evan Bourne**_

_**Prince Escalus: Chris Jericho(w/long hair)**_

_**Friar John: CM Punk**_

_**Balthasar: Matt Hardy**_

_**Sampson: Adam(Edge)**_

_**Gregory: Jay(Christian; w/long hair)**_

_**Abraham: Big Show**_

_**The Apothecary: Dave Batista**_

_**Peter: Michelle McCool**_

_**Rosaline: Eve**_


	2. Introduction

**Author's Note: This is the first piece! Please enjoy! And Review too, trust me its the only that will keep Angel writing and I sure want to find out what happens at end, so Review people Review. We do not own any of the wrestlers or Shakespeare's writing. But we did add our dear friend Kris, who helped us write the beginning of Romeo & Juliet. Thanks Kris!**

**-Zo**

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Romeo & Juliet

Introduction

**Angel: **Hello everyone. I just wanted to let y'all know that my dear plot guru and I have created **another** parody of a play for y'all to read. This time, we're not taking a swing at opera, we are switching to Shakespeare. So, to shake things up and do something completely obvious and totally generic, we are doing Romeo & Juliet.

**Zoë: **Our narrators are none other than….D-Generation X!

**Hunter**: (shocked) I can't believe they asked us back….

**Shawn**: especially after what happened last time (flash backs to La Boheme: WWE Style!)

**Hunter**: (shakes head) that was just…

**Angel**: (Glares at **DX**) you know what, you are soooooo lucky that we brought Maria back to life. And to apologize for what happened, we had to give her another part.

**Zoë**: (rolls eyes) yay! (twirls finger in air sarcastically)

**Angel**: Back to what I was saying, you two wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for **Kris** (motions wildly to friend sitting beside her)

**Hunter**: (glances at **Shawn**) Who? (aside to **Shawn**) do we know her?

**Shawn**: (shrugs and aside to **Hunter**) dunno..guess so…..

**Zoë**: (rolls eyes) Why did she want them back again?

**Angel**: (shrugs) cause they're funny..I guess…I dunno what she sees in them (shakes head)

**Kris**: (glares) you know, I'm sitting RIGHT HERE!

[**Angel** and **Zoë** glance at each other before looking away innocently]

**Angel**: Well, I guess we should get started. (looks at **DX**) Boys, please behave yourselves this time

**Zoë**: And try not to kill any of the actors…okay?

**DX**: Gotcha

**Angel**: (walking away-looks to **Zoë**) for some reason…I just can't believe that….

[They leave **Kris** standing on stage with **DX**]

**Kris**: Alright, guess I'll take over for the ladies and send you two off with your scripts! To start off, here is the prologue for Romeo & Juliet: WWE Style!


	3. ACT I: PROLOGUE

**Author's Note: I always liked the beginning of the story, prologues are my favorite! We do not own any of the wrestlers or Shakespeare's writing. I hope you enjoy it!**

**-Zo**

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ACT I: PROLOGUE

_**Shawn**__: Two households, both alike in dignity. In fair Verona—(is cut off by __**Hunter**__)_

_**Hunter**__: Whoa, whoa, whoa…What the hell does that even mean?_

_**Shawn**__: (shrugs) I don't know, I'm just reading the script. Something you fail at doing…._

_**Hunter**__: (glares) I do not!_

_**Shawn**__: (rolls eyes) Yes you do…last time you made everyone parade around the stage…(pauses) TWICE!_

_**Hunter**__: That's in the past __**Shawn**__, they gave us a second chance! I've changed, I promise! _

_**Shawn**__: (raises eyebrow) honestly? _

_**Hunter**__: cross my heart (crosses heart) and hope to die_

_**Angel**__: (steps into room) Tell me, dear god, you did not kill someone already!_

_**Shawn**__: NO! It's not like that!_

_**Angel**__: (glares suspiciously) if you say so…(leaves again)_

_**Hunter**__: let's try this again…in English this time…_

_**Shawn**__: it was English_

_**Hunter**__: No. It wasn't. _

_**Shawn**__: Our story begins in Los __**Angel**__es, California, where two families_

_**Hunter**__: (cuts in) who hate each other…_

_**Shawn**__: (rolls eyes) who hate each other, live. _

_**Hunter**__: And they live in mansions! And have lots of cars! And lots of mountains of money!_

_**Shawn**__: at least we don't have to worry about them stealing yours this time._

_**Hunter**__: (glares) I thought we weren't going to speak of that ever again?_

_**Shawn**__: (shrugs) I lied…anyway….These two families hate each other so much, they have gone as far as to kill members of the opposing family._

_**Hunter**__: Oh..my…god…we're dealing with murderers? How come you didn't tell me this?_

_**Shawn**__: (rolls eyes) they're actors, not real murderers…Get a grip __**Hunter**__. No one's gonna kill you._

_**Hunter**__: (lets out a relieved sigh)Oh…okay…continue_

_**Shawn**__: The daughter of one family, and the son of the other meet and fall in love_

_**Hunter**__: (groans) ANOTHER LOVE STORY? _

_**Shawn**__: Yes __**Hunter**__, another…why can't you just appreciate a good love story?_

_**Hunter**__: Because they're so boring and sappy and Stephanie always cries during them, which means I have to bring tissues!_

_**Shawn**__: (shakes head) Whatever. These two lovers end up killing themselves—WHAT? They die! Holy shit! __**Angel**__ and __**Zoë**__ are gonna kill US this time!_

_**Hunter**__: We are so screwed…_

_[They look down at their scripts]_

_**Shawn**__: (clears throat) Only their deaths can make their parents stop hating each other. For the next….however long this takes you to read, that is what will be happening. _

_**Hunter**__: ENJOY!_


	4. ACT I: SCENE I

**Author's Note: Now I really hope you enjoy this one because I remember laughing forever when we wrote this piece. The funniest thing ever. Enjoy! We do not own any of the wrestlers or Shakespeare's writing.**

**-Zo**

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ACT I: SCENE I

**Shawn**: **Edge** and **Christian** are standing outside a bar. Chatting it up like two best buds.

**Hunter**: Best buds? Who are you? Sherrilyn Kenyon?

**Shawn: **(looks at Hunter in suspension) How do you know a Romance Author?

**Hunter:** Uh…(looks away nervously) Stephanie loves her books, so I see her name every day.

**Shawn**: Whatever, can I get back to the script now?

**Hunter**: (holds up hands) okay, okay..fine…continue (motions to script)

**Shawn**: (clears throat) thank you very much….(looks back on script) Okay….so, they are talking.

**Edge**: So I threw him up the cage wall…

**Christian**: Hey look, isn't that **Big Show**? One of ….(mouth hangs open)

**Edge**: (rolls eyes) Regal's butler, **Christian**. That's his butler!

**Christian**: oh….yeah, I knew that.

**Edge**: Sure ya did.

**Hunter**: **Big Show** approaches the two Canadians (pauses-looks to **Shawn**) Why are two Canadians in California?

**Shawn**: I have no freaking idea! JUST READ THE SCRIPT! I thought you'd changed!

**Hunter**: I HAVE **Shawn**. I HAVE!

**Shawn**: (looks away) No. You haven't changed one bit.

**Hunter**: I'm sorry **Shawn**, I'm so sorry!

**Big Show**: Could you two shut up so I could read my three lines?

[**Hunter** and **Shawn** look at **Show** before smoothing out their shirts and clearing their throats]

**Shawn**: Uh….yeah…right

**Hunter**: Continue…

[**Show** turns back to **Edge** and **Christian**]

**Christian**: (glaring at **Show**) I hate that guy but DAMN! He's huge!

**Edge**: shut up retard! I'll handle this (glances at **Christian**) Draw your tool!

**Christian**: (holds up fists) My naked weapon is out.

**Edge**: (face pales) I don't want to see your naked weapon!

**Christian**: But….(looks down)

**Edge**: Never mind. I've got this. (flips **Big Show** off as he walks past)

**Show**: (stops—looks at **Edge**) Are YOU holding your MIDDLE FINGER up at ME?

**Christian**: Yep, he's flipping you off (smiles smugly)

**Edge**: (glares at **Christian**) I don't know, am I flipping you off?

**Show**: I dunno, are you flipping me off?

**Edge**: What if I am?

**Show**: I think you are.

**Edge**: But you don't know that (raises eyebrow)

**Christian**: Actually, I'd say he does know that since you're the one who lifted your hand, bent down (looks down at fingers and counts them) ….four fingers, all of them except your middle one and then **show**ed it to him (motions at **Big Show**).

**Hunter**: **Big Show** reaches his hand out.

**Shawn**: and he choke slams **Christian**.

**Hunter**: For being stupid.

**Shawn**: Yep.

**Edge**: (mouth hangs open) why did you just choke slam **Christian**? He's my brother!

**Hunter**: **Show** steps forward to choke slam **Edge** as well.

**Shawn**: But **Evan** Bourne comes flying in with a drop kick

**Evan**: Hold it **Show**! There's no need to fight.

**Hunter**: Then **Randy** Orton comes in (glares at Orton)

**Shawn**: (slaps **Hunter** upside the head) Follow. The. Script.

**Randy**: Hey Bourne. Why don't you fight me instead of these losers. (motions to **Show**, **Christian** and **Edge**)

**Evan**: I don't want to fight. I was trying to stop them.

**Hunter**: (yawns) **Shawn**, this is SO FREAKING BORING!

**Shawn**: You said that last time too. And look what happened then.

**Hunter**: We killed someone!

**Shawn**: How is THAT boring!

**Hunter**: Well…that part wasn't…

**Shawn**: exactly.

**Randy**: Could you two shut the hell up so we can finish this f-ing scene and I can get out of here. I have an appointment at the tanning salon in an hour! (throws up hands)

**Hunter**: (points at Orton) I knew it! Planet Tan! Your appointment is right before mine and you try to sneak out before I see you!

**Randy**: (looks away) No I don't.

**Shawn**: you just admitted it fool.

**Randy**: (glares)

**Shawn**: (glares)

**Hunter**: Alright, stop glaring. Let's get back to the story…or try to at least make this more interesting…I think I fell asleep earlier. (looks at **Shawn**)

**Shawn**: (snores)

**Hunter**: I….can't believe it. That's it! (throws script in air and leaves stage)

[All actors glance around, not knowing what to do]

**Christian**: Does anyone wanna see my naked tool now?

**Show**, **Randy**, **Edge**, **Evan**: NO!

**Christian**: (sighs) fine…(walks off set pouting)

[**Hunter** walks back in, carrying a bag of steaming popcorn]

**Hunter**: Alright, maybe now I can enjoy this…I love me some buttery popcorn.

**Shawn**: (twitches and wakes up) is that popcorn I smell?

**Hunter**: (looks away) nope.

**Shawn**: (opens eyes) HEY IT IS POPCORN!  
**Hunter**: no it's not.

**Shawn**: yes, it is! Give me some!

**Hunter**: No, I don't wanna share with you! You're mean!

**Shawn**: I am not!

**Hunter**: Are too!

**Shawn**: am not!

**Hunter**: are too!

**Shawn**: Am not! (reaches for popcorn and tries to rip it away from **Hunter**)

[The bag rips and the buttered popcorn flies everywhere]

[Chris Jericho enters as the popcorn lands on the stage]

Jericho: I am the Ayatollah of Rock n' Rolla! So shut the hell up!

**Shawn**: Uh….everyone freezes in place….

**Hunter**: I. Am. Frozen.

**Shawn**: Not you **Hunter**, just the actors.

**Hunter**: Oh!

Jericho: If you guys don't stop fighting, I swear I will put every one of you into the walls of Jericho!

[somewhere of stage there is a loud bang]

**Christian**: Dude, you're wearing a towel….

**Shawn**: Jericho looks down.

Jericho: I can feel the breeze

[silence….somewhere, crickets chirp]

**Shawn**: OH MY—**HUNTER**! WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT THE CRICKETS?

**Hunter**: (holds up hands) It's not me this time

[Everyone looks toward side stage]

**Shawn**: (points) **Hunter**…..look…they're everywhere!

**Hunter**: (rolls eyes) **Shawn**, there are like….five crickets….

**Shawn**: everywhere…..(chases after 'horde' of crickets)

**Hunter**: (shakes head) sometimes I wonder….

[**Kris** walks out onto stage, looking around for the crickets]

**Kris**: Sorry **Hunter**, I dropped your cricket cage and they all got out!

**Hunter**: IT WAS YOU! (points at **Kris**)

**Kris**: Don't be mad! It was an accident!

**Hunter**: Uh..but…they're my crickets…if one of them gets hurt, I will

**Shawn**: (somewhere off stage) I THINK I FOUND ONE!

**Hunter**: Oh dear god! **Shawn**, where are you?

(walks off stage to look for **Shawn**.

**Kris**: That is the end of SCENE 1…On to SCENE II!


	5. ACT I: SCENE II

**Author's Note: Okay if I didn't have a whiny sister, I wouldn't have put SCENE II now. But sadly enough I do, so here is SCENE II. We do not own any of the wrestlers or Shakespeare's writing. ENJOY!**

**-Zo**

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ACT I: SCENE II

[**Hunter** drags **Shawn** back to their seats]

**Hunter**: Back to the story

**Shawn**: (points) but the crickets are still loose!

**Hunter**: (rolls eyes) you can go find them once this Act is over, okay?

**Shawn**: (pouts) fine.

**Hunter**: **John** Morrison, acting as our Romeo, **Evan** Bourne, acting as our Benvolio, and **Jeff** Hardy, acting as our Mercutio, all enter onto the stage as they make their way to a popular LA club.

**Jeff**: I swear to god I saw Layla Capulet making out with Michelle

**Evan**: (rolls eyes) I doubt that, even though the Capulets are completely dirty.

**John**: Can we please stop talking about them? I get enough of that at home.

**Jeff**: Let's get ready to PARRRRRTTTTYYY!

**Shawn**: They are now at the club, getting drinks from the bar

**Hunter**: Why do they get to have drinks at the bar and we don't? That seems so unfair.

**Shawn**: Shut up, okay? I'm tired of you complaining. First it's boring, now you want a drink, what next?

[Random pig runs across stage, squealing]

**Shawn**: Who's pig is that?

**Hunter**: (glances away and whistles)

**Shawn**: it's yours, isn't it?

**Hunter**: Her name is Vickie.

**Shawn**: Oh…..never mind…let's just continue…

**Hunter**: Fine (looks back at stage) As the guys sip their drinks, **Melina**—as Juliet— and **Mickie**—as the nurse— walked into the club.

**Shawn**: the two ladies immediately head to the dance floor together.

**Hunter**: **John** notices **Melina** as she walks into the club.

**John**: Guys, (taps **Jeff**'s shoulder) who is that?

**Shawn**: **Jeff** and **Evan** turn to see who **John** is staring at.

**Evan**: I actually have no idea who that is. Do you **Jeff**?

**Jeff**: (shrugs) Not a clue

**John**: (rolls eyes) gee, you guys are such a help. (Muttering ) completely useless too

**Jeff**: (glares) I heard that

**John**: heard what?

**Jeff**: uhhhhh…(looks at empty shot glass) I'm….not sure….

**Hunter**: Okay, really **Shawn**? Really? Who wrote this shit! It's worse than the WWE writers.

**Shawn**: What did I say earlier?

**Hunter**: That I should shut up?  
**Shawn**: Yes…now do that.

**Hunter**: meh (crosses arms and pouts)

**Shawn**: Across the club, **Melina**, sitting with **Mickie**, was sipping her drink, idly watching the group of three men.

**Mickie**: See something you like?

**Melina**: (blinks) huh? What? No?

**Mickie**: (smirks) sure…right…whatever you say

**Melina**: I'm being honest (rolls eyes)

**Mickie**: Mmhmmm, yeah yeah. You know you can't lie to me. I see you checking that guy out (motions to group of guys)

**Melina**: I am not staring!

**Mickie**: Yep, you totally are.

**Melina**: (glares) Just let it go, okay?

**Mickie**: (holds up hands) Fine, I'll shut up. Let's dance! (grabs **Melina**'s hand and drags her back onto dance floor)

**Hunter**: the two women dance as **John** continues to watch.

**Shawn**: finally, he gets up and makes his way to where the two girls are dancing.

**Hunter**: **John** taps **Mickie** on the shoulder and she grins, letting him take her place beside **Melina**.

**Shawn**: **Melina** turns around to continue dances and pauses slightly seeing **John** standing there.

**John**: You must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room.

**Melina**: (raises eyebrows) Oh really? And how many times has that one worked?  
**John**: don't know, that's one I haven't tried yet.

**Melina**: (frowns) I need to go find my friend (begins to walk away)

**John**: (reaches out and grabs her wrist) Sorry (rubs neck with free hand) Just figured it would break the ice, ya know?

**Melina**: and make you seem like a total jerk, ya know?

**John**: (smirks) feisty.

**Melina**: (shrugs) you kinda have to be in my family.

**John**: really? (shrugs) so…dancing ?(offers hand)

**Melina**: (hesitates) I guess, just one song (takes hand)

**Hunter**: the two dance together and talk

**Shawn**: they are surprised by how much they have in common and instantly click.

**John**: So, will you let me try again?

**Melina**: (eyebrows furrow) try what again?

**John**: a pick up line?

**Melina**: (laughs) yeah, I guess. Just make sure it's better than the last one (smirks)

**John**: deal (thinks) If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together

**Melina**: (rolls eyes) so original

**John**: oh fine, why don't you try one

**Melina**: do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I walk by again?

**John**: Oh, someone's got game. I hope you know CPR, cause you take my breath away

**Melina**: (laughs) okay..hmm….If I spend any more time here with you , I may need to join a 12 step program to overcome my addiction

**John**: (grins) Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night

**Hunter**: as the two continue their game, they lean in closer and then…no! no no no no no! I am not reading this!

**Shawn**: what? What's the matter?

**Hunter**: They're kissing, I don't want to read about that!  
**Shawn**: (rolls eyes) it's not even that bad ( looks at couple) wait? Where did they go?

**Hunter**: (points to side stage) over there. Oh god **Shawn**! Don't look! (pulls **Shawn** away)

**Shawn**: (looks at **Hunter** with raised eyebrow before continuing) Well, that is the end of Act I. We hope you enjoyed.

**Hunter**: For a short recap of what happened. We had a short scuffle between the Montagues—**Evan** & **Big Show**—and the Capulets—**Edge**, **Christian**, and **Randy**.

**Shawn**: Then, our Romeo—**John** Morrison—his best friend, **Jeff** and his cousin, **Evan** headed to a club where he spotted the beautiful **Melina**, the daughter of his family's nemeses. But he doesn't know that.

**Hunter**: Then, the two met, had a war of pick up lines and made out on the side of the stage.

**Shawn**: That's pretty much it.

**Hunter**: Until next time!

**Angel**: Thank you all for reading! I hope you liked it so far!

**Zoë**: As for a disclaimer, we do not own any WWE Superstars or Divas (though sometimes we wish we did) and we do not own anything Shakespeare wrote….I think that's all

**Kris**: Keep a watch out for the next Act. Act II, where we have the famous balcony scene redone and they discover just exactly who the other is.

**Angel**: how fun….

**Zoë**: right….

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**PS: We have not writen ACT II yet so be patience because it will take us awhile. Since Angel and I live in two different states so trust me there will be a lot of e-mailing to get ACT II done. Thanks for Reading!**

**-Zo**


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